Whatever It Takes!

Ok, so I know I just weighed in two days ago, but I wanted to keep on track with the Facebook Challenge weigh-ins, too.

At the beginning of the 60-Day Challenge, I was at 159.2.  Wednesday, I was at 161.  Today I weighed in at 159.8 (just goes to show how much one will fluctuate).  I'm feeling pretty good about the fact that I'm only up .6 lbs in the last two weeks.  And here is why:

For those who don't know yet, I went out on May 3rd, and it is veeeeeery possible that something was slipped into my drink.  I completely lost 4 1/2 hours of my night.  Even now, that my sister has (finally!) talked to me and told me what happened, it is still completely black.  Seriously, not a thing.  Long story short...blacked out, got in a fight with a girl in the bathroom, attacked my sister, had to be picked up by my boyfriend (who I don't remember seeing at any point before I go back to the house), tried to jump out of his moving vehicle, he stopped, I DID jump out, and then wandered aimlessly through a not-so-safe part of town for HOURS!  Around this time, I started to come back in a bit, and I remember trying to stop a car because I knew I needed to call someone.  In the process, I fell in the street.  I remember falling, and I remember it hurting, and I remember being really pissed that I fell.  Then I went out again (not sure how long), and came back in to a cop asking if I needed help.  Obviously, I did.  He asked if I was Madison, and I said, yes, and he told me to sit on the curb because my Dad and brother in law had been looking for me.  Then I went home.  It was absolutely crazy.  Did I drink?  Yes.  Enough to black out?  Not even close.  I wasn't even hungover the next day...at all.  All the more reason that I think I was roofied.  My Dad said he was talking to a co-worker, who is close friends with a cop.  The cop told her that she needed to keep a watchful eye on her drinks when she was out because the amount of roofie cases happening right now is asinine.  =/

So, there's that.  Worst part?  When I fell, I seriously jacked up my foot.  I haven't been able to do an actual workout since May 3rd.  I'm really sad about it.  All I've been keeping up with is the arm-toning workout.

Another reason that I'm happy I haven't gained more weight is because when we were in Carbondale, all we did was eat crap food, drink beer, and not workout.  We did walk Campus Lake and a little bit through Thompson Woods and the rest of campus, so there's that, at the very least.  I wish I could have done more because it would have been really nice to get a workout in with Sara.  =(

So, there's my story, and why I've been a little MIA lately.

Now, to add a little more stress, sadness, AND motivation into the mix.  I got my blood test results back yesterday.  Everything was completely normal.  I was actually way more upset about it than I thought.  I'm actually going to be working with my doctor to get more testing done for thyroid issues.  While I'm very happy to know that my levels are normal across the board (I mean in EVERY thing), there are still issues.  Like the fact that I'm eating right, drinking water, cut out soda, exercising daily (before the 3rd), and the weight wasn't coming off all that quickly AND I was still exhausted allllllllll the time.  Those things are not normal.  They don't compute.  There are a few tests that they didn't do, that could actually show an issue with my Pituitary Gland, which could be causing me to be hypothyroid, without there being an issue with my Thyroid itself.  Nonetheless, knowing what I know, I'm going to push harder than ever, and I'm going to continue this journey.  Even if it means hiring a dietitian because it turns out there's nothing wrong with my Pituitary Gland, either!

Whatever it takes.  My new motto in life...not just on my weightloss/get fit journey.  Whatever it takes.

Cutting out Carbs!

Ok, so I just weighed myself this morning. I'm at 162. That puts me down like 13 pounds since I started the diet 29 days ago.  Not too bad, but, unfortunately, that's only a 3 pound loss for this 2nd Cycle. My body just doesn't metabolize carbs, dammit! So, I had added in some quinoa and stuff like that, but it's just not going to work for me. I will definitely add carbs back into my life when I'm maintaining, but for now...not going to work. I've still got 45 pounds I want to lose, and 3 pounds every 2 weeks just isn't going to cut it. I want to be in shorts and tank tops this Summer, I want to go hiking, and swimming, and rafting, learning how to rock climb, etc.  There are so many outdoor activities that I want to be a part of, but I'm SO self-conscious about my body and my fitness level, that right now, I'm just not comfortable trying them.  I have also decided that my new goal is to tackle The Incline on Labor Day Weekend.  I know Morgan and I had discussed a possible trip out here for her and Nick on that weekend...maybe we can do it together if that trip does work out??  I'm so glad that Morgan posted Facebook about her weight loss a few weeks ago because we've been talking and she has REALLY been holding me accountable.  I let her know when I should be done with my workout, and if I legit feel awful if she texts me and I haven't done it yet!!  Definitely found my motivation within her, and it feels good.  I'm excited about getting down to business and feeling good and like I can tackle ANYTHING!!!

Starting weight as of 4/8 (start of the diet): 174.8
Current weight: 162
Goal to Hit by 5/10: 140-145
Pounds to go: 17-22!

I can do this.  I WILL do this.  =D

Stress and a bout of depression = Pretty major weight gain =/

Well, it's been a rough year so far...and it's only March!  During the Holidays, I found out that my boyfriend's brother no longer wanted his 10 year old pitbull, Tarus.  How anyone can decide they no longer want a dog after 10 freaking years is beyond me!  Needless to say, I no longer have a relationship with Stephen.  I can't deal with that kind of asshole.  Anyway, James and I took the Tarus in (even though we knew it was not a great idea because he and our cancer doggy Zeus did not get along), and started the hunt for a safe place for Tarus to go.  On the 3rd day, we noticed blood in the urine, so we had to get him to the vet.  There was a possible mass in his bladder, but we didn't have the money to do the tests, so I started a Chip-In.  I was absolutely amazed and humbled by the outpouring of love and donations for this sweet boy.  Before we could get him back in to the vet, I got the most wonderful email!  Heather, the director of Rifle Animal Shelter, said she had room!  So, my sister and I loaded up and drove pretty much the entire length of the state to drop off Tarus and his over $300 in donations.  Sadly, a little more than a week after we took Tarus to this wonderful place, it was found that the mass was cancer, and the recommendation was to let him go.  Very heartbreaking, for sure.  To add to it, just 2 days prior, my sister had to let her Ripley go after 11 years of loving that crazy, crazy animal.  AND then, just 2 1/2 weeks after that, our cancer doggy Zeus lost his battle.  One of his tumors ruptured, and despite our best efforts to keep him happy and comfortable, he gave up, and we had to let him go.  Very hard for me, who had loved this gentle giant for almost 3 years...nearly impossible for my boyfriend, who had loved him for over 11 years.  So...that was a rough couple of weeks, but then to top it all off, just 4 days after I let go of a best friend, I received news that another best (human) friend had taken his own life.  This one is still weighing very heavily on my heart.  Jordan was such an important person, and such a constant in my life from the time I was 16 years old.  How many people can say that someone they met when they were 16 was still important after 13 years?  I'm completely heartbroken about it, and I'm not sure I'll ever be able to fully, fully recover from it.  He was very important, and we had a relationship unlike any I've ever had before.  Just two people that had mutual respect for one another, and despite hard times and immature moments, that respect never dwindled.  I will miss him forever.

And, while it is as big of a deal considering all of ^---------that!  James' truck died on the Friday after Zeus and before Jordan.  So, we've been sharing one vehicle for the past 2 1/2 weeks, and it is awful.

A little bit of good news (but also stressful) is that we got a new puppy!  We named him Frankenstein, and he is precious.  It wouldn't be so bad if James would stop spoiling him, and making him sleep in his crate instead of cuddled up on the couch.  We can cuddle after he's house trained and Fallynn (our sweet baby that rather preferred being the only dog in the house) trusts him.  We've only had him for 5 days, so obviously, it's going to take more time.

So, onto the issue at hand...Stress = Weight gain.  Duh, we all knew that, right?  Well, in the last month and a week, I have gained 10 pounds!  My current weight is at 173, and I have OFFICIALLY hit my heaviest.  Unacceptable.  I looked in the mirror the other day, and stopped.  I said to myself, "Ok.  I'm fat.  There is just no other way around it.  Not chubby.  Not chunky.  Not heavy.  Nope.  Fat.  I am fat."  The moment that I was this brutally honest with myself, I felt a sense of relief.  Yesterday, I went grocery shopping, and only bought things on the first phase food list for the 17-Day Diet.  I'm fully committing to this.  Last time, I committed myself, I lost 10 pounds in the first 17 days.  Excellent.  I would love nothing more than to be back down to where I was at the beginning of the year in a little over 2 weeks.  I have already explained to James that I need him to stay away from my food.  When I cook, I will cook for both of us, but the leftovers are mine.  He is free to bring into the house whatever he would like, but he is not free to eat the food on my diet since it is crucial that I have my foods available to me.  This first 17 days, there are no substitutes.  This is detox time.  I will be living on poultry (since I don't like fish, unfortunately), veggies, and a few servings of fruit and a few glasses of heart healthy milk...that's it!  I need to cleanse my system, so I can feel better.  I need to get over the hump this weekend, so other than walking the dogs a few times a  day, I won't be including much exercise time.  I know, I know.  If you've ever done this diet, the first couple of days suck the most.  Especially if you're addicted to diet coke like me.  Quitting that cold turkey brings on migraine like headaches.  I plan to get over that, and then start Jillian Michael's Body Revolution all over AGAIN, on Monday!  No excuses this time!  All I need to do is look in the mirror, and I have my motivation.  Right now, this is not about about how I want to look...it's about how I DON'T want to look.  I feel disgusting, flabby, like a blob of wasted space right now.  Time to make some changes, and knock out this bout of depression brought on by some really crappy events.

2013 has really started out to be a crap year.  I hope that I can turn that around and make 2013 the year that I can say, "I hit my goal weight!"  And hopefully, 2014 will be the year I get to say, "I hit and STAYED at my ideal weight!"

I have also decided that I will be posting my healthy, 1st Phase acceptable recipes.  It should be assumed that if I don't post a recipe...I had a salad (romaine/spinach mixture) with fat free cheddar cheese, some sliced deli turkey, a few hard chow mein noodles for some crunch, a sliced hardboiled egg white, and a dressing of red or white wine vinegar with a tbsp of Ranch.

Here is the healthy meatloaf that I made last night.  I made a few changes.  I used ALL lean turkey instead of half turkey, half beef...no red meat this first 17 days.  And I used a few extra bread crumbs (not much at all, just a heaping instead of perfectly leveled cup) since I forgot the buy parsley.  I thought it was really good, and I think I'll like it even more as leftovers because it was just a touch more moist than I prefer.  That may have not happened had I had a darker beer than Blue Moon, and if I had remembered to pick up parsley.

Blue Ribbon Meatloaf

Ingredients

• 2 teaspoons canola or light olive oil
• 1 medium sweet onion, chopped
• 12 ounces dark or amber beer
• 1 teaspoon dried thyme
• 1 teaspoon dry mustard
• 3/4 teaspoon salt
• black ground pepper, to taste
• 1 1/4 pounds organic lean ground beef
• 1 1/4 pounds organic lean ground turkey
• 1 cup soft whole-wheat bread crumbs
• 1/4 cups fresh parsley, chopped
• 1 large egg, lightly beaten
• 1 large egg, whites only, lightly beaten

Preparation

1. Preheat oven to 375°F. Coat an 8 1/2 x 4 1/2-inch loaf pan with cooking spray.

2. Heat oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add onion and cook, stirring often, until translucent and starting to brown, about 5 minutes.

3. Pour in beer and increase heat to high. Bring to a vigorous boil; cook until the liquid is quite thick and the mixture reduces to about 3/4 cup, 8 to 10 minutes. Transfer to a large bowl.

4. Stir in thyme, dry mustard, salt and pepper. Let cool for 10 minutes.

5. Add beef, turkey, breadcrumbs, parsley, egg and egg white to the onion mixture.

6. With clean hands, mix thoroughly and transfer to the prepared pan.

7. Bake the meatloaf until an instant-read thermometer registers 160°F when inserted into the center, about 1 hour 20 minutes. Let rest for 5 minutes; drain accumulated liquid from the pan and slice.

Makes 8 servings.

Nutrition Facts
Calories: 259                           Saturated Fat: 2 g                   Dietary Fiber: 2 g
Total Fat: 9 g                           Sodium: 339 mg                      Protein: 31 g
Cholesterol: 105 mg                Total Carbohydrate: 11 g